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Category: Walks into a bar

What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a diabetic, and someone leaving a construction job interview?

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

One met four men. One needs Metformin. One met the foreman. Okay, I’ll take a shot at a “Joke Poo” version of that joke. Joke Poo: The Data Analyst What’s the difference…

A rough old general has heard about a unit with the toughest soldiers around and decides to check them out.

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

After reviewing the troops on parade he visits the medical tent to meet the soldiers. The general barks at the first soldier, "Why are you here, soldier?" "Hemorrhoids, Sir!" "And how are…

A businessman travelling through rural England decided to stop the night at a picturesque country inn, the George and Dragon.

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Checking-in at reception, he asked the lady co-owner whether meals were still being served at the bar. “No,” she replied forcefully. “Last meals are 8 p.m. sharp. It is now 8.10 p.m.”…

A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger banging his wife.

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

The guy says, "Hey! What the hell is going on here!?!" And his wife says to the stranger, "See? I told you he was stupid." Joke Poo: The Internship A software engineer…

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?” The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano. The rat stretches,…

A guy walks into a cafeteria style restaurant

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sees a whiteboard with the following: cheese sandwiches $3, egg salad sandwiches $4, chicken sandwiches $5, hand jobs $50. He walks over to this sexy woman near the cash and says…

A man walks into a bar and exclaims, “I think all lawyers are a$sholes!”

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

Someone from the other end of the bar shouts, "Hey! I resent that!" "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No! I'm an a$shole!" Joke Poo: The Compost Heap A farmer walks into a…

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and they order drinks.

Posted on July 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!”, the bartender yells out….

Two cumulus clouds are up in the sky having a chat.

Posted on July 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

One says to the other, "I don't want to be so fluffy and stuck down here. I want to be light and wispy and way up high!" The other replies, "I get…

I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

And a lifetime ban from the zoo Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of that joke, titled accordingly: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap I have the nose of a bloodhound, And the…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice

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