Me, 5 years. He is getting married tomorrow.
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of the original, titled:
Joke Poo: The Investment Portfolio
“What a diversified portfolio! How long have you been building it?”
“Me? Five years. My advisor’s selling it off tomorrow.”
Alright, let’s analyze this joke and see if we can squeeze some more humor out of it.
Deconstruction:
- Setup: The initial question is a classic, innocent social pleasantry, establishing a framework of normalcy and expectation of a standard, heartwarming answer.
- Punchline: The punchline subverts that expectation with a darkly comedic revelation. The speaker reveals a state of being married while her spouse is actively planning to marry someone else.
- Humor Derived From: The humor comes from the stark contrast between the expected response and the actual, shocking situation. It’s unexpected, a bit twisted, and hints at a potential soap opera of marital discord. The brevity of the answer also amplifies the comedic impact – it’s delivered with blunt resignation.
Key Elements:
- Marriage: The institution, the promise of commitment, the implied stability.
- Time: The “5 years” suggests a significant investment and established history.
- Betrayal: The impending marriage to someone else directly undermines the original marriage.
- Resignation/Dark Humor: The tone suggests a somewhat blasé acceptance of this absurd situation.
Humorous Enrichment & Spin-offs:
Okay, armed with our dissection, here are a few ways we can build on this:
1. The “Did You Know?” Observation (Playing on the Length of Marriage):
“Did you know that the average time it takes for a wedding cake to completely dissolve in stomach acid is roughly 5 years? Coincidence? I think not. Also, my husband’s cake tomorrow will be gluten-free because apparently, somebody’s new bride has digestive issues. Five years down the drain, literally.”
(Rationale: This connects the “5 years” to a slightly absurd fact, then layering in more details about the upcoming wedding, escalating the comedic effect with passive-aggressive humor.)
2. The Extended Joke/Scenario:
“What a nice couple, how long have you been married?”
“Five years. He’s getting married tomorrow.”
“Oh my gosh! To whom?”
“Well, not to me. I’ll be the one throwing rice… filled with tiny, sharp pebbles.”
(Rationale: The follow-up question allows for further escalation of the dark humor. The addition of a revenge fantasy adds another layer of absurdity and relatability, for anyone who’s ever felt wronged.)
3. Witty Observation:
“Marriage is like a software update. You think you’re getting something better, but then you realize it’s just full of bugs… and sometimes, a completely new operating system.”
(Rationale: This uses a modern analogy to comment on the complexities and potential failures of marriage in general, inspired by the original joke’s implied failure of commitment.)
4. New Joke Format (Playing on the Timing):
Why did the divorce lawyer get a bonus?
Because his client’s spouse scheduled a second wedding before filing the paperwork! He called it “double-dipping, with extra emotional distress points.”
(Rationale: This reframes the situation in a punchline-driven format, focusing on the ludicrousness of the timing from a legal perspective.)
I think these builds add some depth and relatable humor to the original joke, without completely abandoning its core concept. The key is playing off the absurdity of the situation and exploring the emotional undertones with a comedic twist.