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What has two butts and kills people ?

Posted on June 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

An assassin.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the assassin joke:

Joke Poo: The Toilet Titan

What has two bowls and wreaks havoc on plumbing systems?

…A double-headed drain monster.

Alright, let’s break down this wonderfully dark and simple joke:

Core Elements:

  • Structure: Question/Answer format. The question sets up an expectation, which is then subverted by the answer.
  • Key Words/Concepts: "Two butts" and "kills people". This combination creates a jarring juxtaposition of the ridiculous and the morbid. "Two butts" suggests something silly or deformed, while "kills people" introduces danger and violence.
  • Humor Source: Unexpectedness, incongruity, and a hint of dark humor. The mind jumps to various absurd images (a two-headed person, a malformed animal) before landing on the cold, professional "assassin."

Analysis:

The humor derives from the misdirection. Our brains attempt to find a literal object with two butts that could also kill. The answer pulls the rug out from under our expectations by offering an abstract answer that could be interpreted as having "two butts" if one imagines an assassin being a butt-head who is an expert at stabbing butts.

Enrichment – Creating New Humor:

Let’s leverage some facts about assassins to create something new. Did you know that the word "assassin" comes from the Arabic word "Hashashin," referring to a group of Nizari Ismaili Muslims in the 11th-13th centuries who were rumored (possibly inaccurately) to consume hashish before carrying out assassinations?

New joke based on this info:

Joke 1:

Why did the assassin bring a pipe to the job?

Because he wanted to make sure the target was really "stoned" dead.

Joke 2: A Witty Observation

"I always thought the ‘Hashashin’ were a historical anomaly. Now I realize, they were just the first documented cases of professionals blaming performance issues on product testing."

Joke 3:

Did you hear about the assassin who kept mixing up his targets? He always blamed it on the "haze" he was in. He was immediately fired. Talk about a buzzkill!

Explanation of the New Humor:

  • The new jokes directly relate to the "assassin" concept from the original.
  • They incorporate the historical connection to "Hashashin" and the (possibly mythical) association with hashish.
  • The humor relies on puns, wordplay, and the absurdity of professional killers with substance-induced performance issues. The added layer of historical context and wordplay should amplify the comedic effect.

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