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What you want people would say at your funeral

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

A pastor interrupts a Sermon to ask 3 men in the front row:

"What would you want your loved ones to say as they are looking at you coffin?"

1st one: "That I was a good Father and Husband"

2nd one: "That I lived a good life!"

3rd one; "Look! He's moving!"

Joke Poo: The Corporate Review

A ruthless CEO interrupts the annual performance review to ask three VPs in the boardroom:

“What would you want your team to say about your leadership in the exit survey when you inevitably get fired?”

1st VP: “That I was a fair and supportive mentor.”

2nd VP: “That I always prioritized ethical practices and company values!”

3rd VP: “He’s still got access to the company server!”

Alright, let’s dissect this funeral joke!

Key Elements:

  • Setup: A pastor’s probing question about funeral eulogies creates a serious, reflective atmosphere.
  • Contrast: The first two answers are earnest and predictable, fitting the somber setting.
  • Punchline: The third answer is absurd and completely undermines the solemnity, generating humor through unexpectedness. The punchline uses the context of the situation and the unexpected of the situation to shock the listener.
  • Irony/Bathos: The situation is life vs. death, which naturally have a solemn aura to them. The contrast of humor against the situation is funny because it deflates the solemnity of death.

Interesting Tidbits to Play With:

  • Funeral Industry Facts: Did you know the average funeral in the US costs around $7,848 in 2021? That’s a lot of money to not be moving!
  • Thanatophobia (Fear of Death): It’s estimated that a significant portion of the population experiences some degree of fear related to death. The joke’s humor derives from the unexpectedness of the character trying to be revived.
  • Resurrection Myths: Across cultures, there are countless resurrection myths and legends. What if the guy was actually coming back? Imagine the paperwork!

New Joke/Witty Observation:

Okay, here we go:

“I always wondered what people would say at my funeral. I hoped for ‘He was a generous soul’ or maybe even ‘He finally finished that novel.’ Turns out, though, my will stipulated that if I wasn’t visibly decomposing within 30 minutes, the funeral director had to attach jumper cables to my ears and yell ‘CLEAR!’ The readings were off the chart because nobody wants to pay for a funeral that has a person in it.”

Why it works:

  • Builds on the Original: It keeps the funeral setting but adds a layer of absurd, proactive measures to confirm death.
  • Plays on the Contrast: It contrasts the desire for a respectful send-off with the comical reality of forced revival attempts.
  • Incorporates a Fun Fact: A bit of exaggeration about the funeral industry practices or the readings after electric shock.
  • Creates a Narrative: The joke contains more than just the punchline, drawing the listener into the scene to make it more vivid.

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