The president of Slobbovia was running for re-election and held a rally in the small town of Hicknia.
He yelled to the crowd, "I am here for you! What is your greatest need?"
Someone called out, "The nearest highway is 50 miles away and that hurts business."
So he pulls out his phone, and in a loud voice says to the person on the other end, "Designate 50 million quatloos to extend the highway to Hicknia!"
Expecting a roar of support, he was surprised that there was only some polite clapping.
So he yelled to the crowd again, "I am here for you! What is your next greatest need?"
Someone called out, "The nearest railroad is 50 miles away and that hurts business."
So he pulls out his phone, and in a loud voice says to the person on the other end, "Designate 80 million quatloos to extend the railroad to Hicknia!"
Again, expecting a roar of support he was surprised that there was only some polite clapping. So he yelled to the crowd a final time, "I am here for you! What is your next greatest need?"
Someone in the crowd called out, "The nearest cell phone tower is 50 miles away and that hurts business."
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Call
A high-powered CEO, known for being technologically inept, was on an important Zoom call but was having trouble with his new smart fridge.
He boomed into his phone, “Tech support! I am here for you! What is your greatest need?”
A weary voice on the other end replied, “Sir, I think you called us.”
Unfazed, the CEO bellowed, “Details, details! The thing won’t show my calendar on the door! It’s impacting productivity!”
He heard some rustling on the other end, and then, in a loud voice, he barked into the phone, “Allocate 50 programmer-hours to syncing this damned fridge with my iCal! Do it now!”
He expected a chorus of “Thank you, sir!” but was met with silence. Confused, he tried again.
He yelled, “I am here for you! What is your next greatest need?”
The voice, now even more tired, said, “Sir, this is customer service, not R&D. Also, we’re pretty sure the fridge doesn’t natively support iCal. Maybe try Google Calendar?”
The CEO, red-faced, thundered into the phone, “Re-allocate 80 programmer-hours! Make the damned fridge understand iCal!”
Again, only silence. He was starting to sweat. In desperation, he roared, “I am still here for you! What, in the name of Bezos, is your next greatest need?!”
The voice, barely audible, whispered, “A different job.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build something new from its parts.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A politician tries to win over a rural town by addressing their needs.
- Setup: The president asks about the town’s greatest needs. The townspeople identify infrastructure deficits (highway, railroad).
- Punchline 1 & 2: The president dramatically allocates large sums of money for each project over the phone, yet receives only polite applause.
- Twist/Anticipation: The audience expects the president to once again respond with an extravagant expenditure. The humor is derived from the anticipation that is created. The audience expects one response, only to receive another.
- Underlying Themes:
- Ineffective Politician: The president’s grand gestures are superficial and don’t connect with the people.
- Rural Needs vs. Political Showmanship: Highlights the disparity between genuine needs of a community and the politician’s performative response.
- Cynicism/Disillusionment: The polite clapping suggests the townspeople are either skeptical of the president’s sincerity or are accustomed to empty promises.
- Modernity vs. Tradition: The joke plays on the classic stereotype of rural backwardness, but modernizes it by including the need for a cell phone tower.
Key Elements to Exploit:
- Slobbovia/Quatloos: The fictional country and currency. This offers an opportunity for absurdity.
- Infrastructure Needs: The contrast between basic needs and the politician’s over-the-top response.
- Polite Clapping: The unexpected reaction is a ripe source of comedic tension.
- Distance/Remoteness: The “50 miles away” concept.
Enrichment Creation (Witty Observation):
Option 1 (Playing with the “Quatloo” concept):
“It’s interesting that President of Slobbovia was throwing around ‘quatloos’ like confetti. Did you know that, according to the Journal of Fictional Economics, the quatloo is pegged to the emotional stability of the Slobbovian badger population? A significant market fluctuation means a sadder-than-usual badger, and a devalued currency. Makes you think twice about where your campaign donations are going, doesn’t it?”
Why this works:
- Absurdity: Extends the joke’s fictional elements to a ridiculous, yet plausible-sounding, detail about its economy.
- Topicality: Indirectly comments on the sometimes dubious financial dealings in politics.
- Wit: The juxtaposition of a fictional currency and a “Journal of Fictional Economics” adds another layer of humor.
Option 2 (Focusing on the “Polite Clapping”):
“The most terrifying sound in politics isn’t booing or angry chants. It’s polite clapping. It’s the sound of a thousand voters politely agreeing that your promises are worth about as much as a coupon for 50% off a lifetime supply of bridges to nowhere.”
Why this works:
- Relatability: Captures the feeling of political disillusionment.
- Contrast: Highlights the difference between a politician’s desired reaction and the actual apathy they might inspire.
Option 3 (Turning the distance/remoteness into dark humor):
After the President promised 50 million quatloos to build a highway, the townsfolk of Hicknia wondered where they could get gasoline. 50 million quatloos might buy a highway, but it wouldn’t help them when the nearest gas station was 50 miles away!
Why this works:
- Logical Extension: Extends the joke to highlight another shortcoming that follows the extravagant expenditure.
The key is to take the core elements of the original joke (the fictional currency, the infrastructural problems, and the failed attempt at political pandering) and use them to create something fresh and humorous. You can do this through absurdity, cynicism, or simply by extending the logic of the joke to its illogical conclusion.