He always asks me why, and I say:
-Because to the little bug, you're a giant monster.
Today, on our way to school, I was disgusted by a poo on the pavement. I made a face and warned my son about it. His reply?
-Don't worry, daddy, probably the little poo is more disgusted by you than you are by the poo.
Joke Poo: The Therapist’s Couch
When my overly sensitive golden retriever gets anxious about the vacuum cleaner, I always tell him the vacuum is probably more terrified of him than he is of it.
He cocks his head and whines, so I explain: “Because to the vacuum, you’re a huge, shedding, slobbering creature!”
Today, during my therapy session, I was complaining about the crippling fear of rejection that plagues my dating life. My therapist, after listening intently, leaned forward and said, “Don’t worry, I’m sure the people you’re dating are probably more terrified of you than you are of them.”
Confused I asked the doctor ‘Why is that?”
“Because to them, you’re a walking bill of goods!”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then build something new from it.
Joke Analysis:
- Premise: A father comforts his son’s fear of bugs by claiming the bug is more scared.
- Setup: The father consistently attributes the bug’s fear to the child’s size and intimidating nature.
- Punchline: The son applies the same logic to the father’s disgust towards dog poo, creating a humorous reversal. The joke lies in the child’s unexpected application of the father’s flawed logic and the absurdity of poo having feelings.
- Key Elements:
- Parent-Child Dynamic: The humor relies on the typical parent-child interaction of comforting and teaching.
- Fear and Disgust: The joke transitions from fear (bugs) to disgust (poo), both common childhood emotions.
- Anthropomorphism: Attributing human emotions (fear, disgust) to non-human entities (bugs, poo).
- Scale and Perspective: The shifting perspective based on size is central to the joke.
Comedic Enrichment: Fun Fact Inspired Joke
Fun Fact: Did you know that the average dog produces about ¾ pounds of poop per day? Imagine how many bugs that could disgust!
New joke:
My daughter was complaining about a fly buzzing around her head. I tried my usual comforting tactic: “Don’t worry, honey, the fly is probably more scared of you than you are of it.”
She stopped, thought for a moment, and then said, “But Dad, if I produce almost a pound of poo a day, that fly is probably excited about the feast, not afraid. It is probably salivating!”
This joke builds on the original by:
- Retaining the parent-child dynamic.
- Keeping the element of fear and disgust (with an added, ironic twist of excitement).
- Expanding on the anthropomorphism through a feast analogy.
- Using the fun fact to subvert the original logic completely. The child uses newfound knowledge (via the parent?) to make the situation even more ridiculous.