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Why are proctologists such good lie detectors?

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because they know if you are full of shit

Joke Poo: Why are plumbers terrible gamblers?

Because they always know when the pot is full of crap, but never trust their gut.

Alright, let’s get this joke under the microscope!

Analysis of the Original Joke:

  • Core Concept: The joke hinges on the double meaning of "full of shit." It simultaneously refers to:
    • Literal fecal matter, related to the proctologist’s profession.
    • Figurative dishonesty.
  • Setup: "Why are proctologists such good lie detectors?" creates an expectation of a complex or scientific explanation.
  • Punchline: "Because they know if you are full of shit" delivers a simple, unexpected, and scatologically humorous answer. It relies on incongruity (the mismatch between expectation and reality) and wordplay.

Key Elements:

  • Proctology: Medical specialty dealing with the rectum, anus, and colon.
  • Lie Detection: The art or science of determining truthfulness.
  • "Full of Shit": A vulgar idiom for dishonesty.
  • Incongruity: The contrast between the serious setup and the crude punchline.

Comedic Enrichment (New Joke):

Did you know the human colon is about five feet long, just like the distance between the average politician’s mouth and their integrity? Makes you wonder if proctologists shouldn’t be advising Congress on ethics reform – they’re experts at separating the genuine articles from… well, the other stuff!

Explanation of New Joke’s Construction:

  • Connects Fact to Idiom: We’ve introduced a factual detail (colon length) and connected it humorously to the "full of it" theme.
  • Political Punch: We’ve swapped the context from general dishonesty to political dishonesty, likely to resonate more with an audience.
  • Reincorporates Proctology: We’ve brought the proctologist back in as a potential expert, playing on the original joke’s profession-specific humor.
  • Subtle Vulgarity: The "…well, the other stuff!" ending alludes to fecal matter without explicitly stating it, maintaining a level of crudity but adding a layer of cleverness.

Another type of comedic enrichment : Amusing "Did You Know" Fact:

Did you know that while proctologists are experts in the lower digestive tract, their skills wouldn’t necessarily help them detect all lies? Polygraphs measure physiological responses like heart rate and perspiration, which aren’t directly linked to rectal health. So, while a proctologist might suspect you’re "full of it," they’d need a different tool to prove it!

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