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Why don’t vegans like to talk about sex?

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

They don't want to admit that a piece of meat can make them happy

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by the vegan sex joke, titled "Joke Poo":

Title: Why Don’t Programmers Like Writing Love Songs?

They don’t want to admit a simple bug can bring them to their knees and make them weep.

Alright, let’s dissect this vegan joke and see what kind of comedic fertilizer we can spread around.

Analysis:

  • Core Concept: The joke hinges on the contrast between veganism (abstinence from animal products, often for ethical or health reasons) and the act of sex (typically associated with physical pleasure and, in this case, implied desire for meat).
  • Humor Source: The humor comes from the hypocrisy (or perceived hypocrisy) of vegans potentially desiring meat for sexual gratification, thereby undermining their commitment to avoiding animal products. It also plays on the double entendre of "meat" referring to both food and… well, you know.
  • Key Elements:
    • Veganism: Dietary choice, ethical implications.
    • Sex/Pleasure: Instinctual desire, taboo topics.
    • Meat: Food item, euphemism for a certain body part.
    • Hypocrisy (implied): Contradiction between stated beliefs and actions.

Now, let’s get creative! Here are a few comedic enrichments:

1. Witty Observation (playing on the "meat" euphemism):

You know, it’s ironic. Vegans are trying to save animals, but they’re the ones responsible for the meat industry taking all the credit in the bedroom.

2. "Did You Know?" (factual/interesting tidbit + joke):

Did you know that the world’s oldest vegetarian society was founded in England in 1847? I guess they were tired of the only relationship advice available being "Eat more sausage. You’ll feel better."

3. A New Joke (building on the original concept):

Why did the vegan cross the road… to avoid the butcher shop? He heard they were having a "sausage party" and wasn’t sure if it was a sale or a support group.

4. Meta-Commentary (joke about the joke):

That vegan sex joke? A bit on the nose, isn’t it? It’s like saying a comedian avoiding vegetables – completely unrealistic. They both live off cheap, processed carbs and a desperate need for external validation.

5. Vegan Advocacy with a Twist:

Look, I get it. Vegans get a bad rap for being preachy about not eating meat. But honestly, if your idea of foreplay is just slapping a raw steak on the table, maybe you should consider taking some advice. Think of it as reducing your carbon footprint. I’m sure the planet is having a little trouble climaxing as it is.

The humor in each of these stems from the absurdity of applying the principles of veganism to the realm of sexuality and desire. Hopefully, at least one of these expansions lands with a comedic thump!

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