TSA flagged me for a belt, pulled me aside and started to give me a backhanded pat down to the goods. I look over at my wife and say “This better not…
Category: Wife
Drunk guy
A drunken man stumbles onto the shooting range at the local fair. Eyes half-closed, swaying like a tree in a storm, he slurs, “Heeey… can I shhhoot?!” The man behind the counter…
Mystery mark
A woman walks into the doctor’s office, a little concerned. “Doctor,” she says, “every morning I wake up with this weird grey smudge on my lower belly.” The doctor frowns, examines the…
My wife texted me a selfie of herself in a new dress. She asked if it made her look fat. I texted back Noo…
My phone autocorrected it to Moo. I now don't know what to do Original Joke: My wife texted me a selfie of herself in a new dress. She asked if it made…
My wife said if I don’t get off Reddit right now she’s going to come over and smash my face into the keyboard.
I laughed and said "I'd like to se.;,lm;, l,; ;,lmadsc;l,xc k, sca,;lasxc.;,c #'.;cxvc, lmxz;,lm x/.;x zc ,kxmk;lnlp,zx ;,.x.c, Joke Poo: My toddler said if I don’t stop singing the “Baby Shark” song…
A cowboy who just moved to Wyoming from Oklahoma walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud!
A cowboy who just moved to Wyoming from Oklahoma walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He heads to the back, sipping each one in turn. When he finishes,…
Nicola’s wedding day was fast approaching, and nothing could dampen her excitement!
Nicola’s wedding day was fast approaching, and nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parents’ unpleasant and acrimonious divorce. Her mom had found the perfect dress and was sure she’d…
Unusual Family Values
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Sent to me by someone calling…
Communism
Jim and Joe talk about communism. "I don't know how it works" says Jim. "That is easy" says John. "See, you have two donkeys and I have none. You give me one…
Tight shoes
A man walks into a high-end shoe store and points straight at a sleek, expensive pair. “I want those,” he says. “Excellent choice,” says the salesman. “They’re $600. What size are you?”…