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Category: Wife

I lost my wife over my gambling addiction.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day I'm gonna win her back. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original: Joke Poo: My Houseplant Addiction I lost my apartment because of my rare…

A blonde guy comes home early from work and hears weird noises coming from the bedroom.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

He races upstairs and finds his wife, completely naked, sweating and panting like she ran a marathon. “WHAT is going on?!” he shouts. She thinks quick and gasps, “I-I-I think I’m having…

On my 45th birthday, my wife whispered, “So, are you finally ready to try some butt stuff?“ I said, “Hell yeah I am!“

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

She said, “Great! I scheduled your colonoscopy for next week.” Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Tax Audit On our 10th anniversary, my accountant winked and said, “So, are…

I don’t care if you’re disabled

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

When I first became disabled, it weighed on my first wife heavily. She struggled with it more and more until we eventually divorced. So when I met my second wife, I was…

A man bought a box with 100 condoms…

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

When he came home he counted the condoms, and to his dismay found that here were only 99 condoms in the box. He immediately wrote an email to the company, to complain…

One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are…

Been edging for an hour and a half.

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Finally had to come back to the garage and change the trimmer line. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” attempt, riffing on the original: Joke Poo: The Unexpected Flush Been scrolling for two…

A couple goes to a counselor.

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

The wife unloads for 10 straight minutes. “He never listens, never compliments me, never touches me, and he always forgets our anniversary!” The counselor gets up, walks over, hugs the wife gently,…

Transylvania vacation

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and…

One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?

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