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Category: Wife

When we were first married my wife had the body of a supermodel

Posted on July 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

After a few weeks convinced her to bury it. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original joke, titled “Compost Heap”: Title: Compost Heap My neighbor was so…

My husband and i have a secret to making our marriage last.

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, drink a little wine, eat nice food, and enjoy a good conversation. We really make a night of it. He goes on Tuesdays…

A guy walks into a bar and orders a martini.

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

After he got it, he took the olive out and put it on the napkin. Then he ordered another and did the same thing. After a couple of hours, he had a…

My wife started doing black magic on dolls. I said, “This is nonsense.”

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

She handed me one and said, “Whatever you do to it, you’ll feel on yourself — same force, same spot.” I punched the doll in the face. A second later, I felt…

A man is trying to remember the name of a restaurant from his childhood, so he visits his elderly father.

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

After a few seconds of quiet thinking, his father says, "What's the name of that beautiful flower with the thorns? The kind that are all over on Valentines Day." "A rose?" his…

The husband leans over and asks his wife…

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we made whoopee, over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern, you leaned against the back…

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I’d been shopping with my friends all day and figured he was upset I was running a bit late — but…

ARTI the hitman

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into the pub and the barman looks at him and says "you okay John, you looked really pissed off?" "No" John replied "I've had a guts full of my…

A man gets called to the hospital where his wife has been laying in a coma for a few months…

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctors pull the husband aside and say, "Your wife’s been unresponsive for months… but we’ve noticed something unusual. During sponge baths, her brain activity spikes whenever we clean… a certain area."…

A husband and wife were grocery shopping.

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. “What are you doing?” asks the wife. “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,” he replies. “Put them…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

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