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Category: Wife

My wife was complaining that the vac was making a terrible whining noise and wasn’t sucking,

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Any idea what's wrong with it?" she asked. "Yeah," I replied, "it probably got married. " I guess sleeping on the sofa today Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, titled: Joke Poo:…

Financial Planning

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father, and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father…

My wife always zones out when I try to talk at length about ancient civilizations.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

She says I just Babylon. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your ancient civilization joke: Joke Poo: The Potting Shed My husband always loses focus when I start…

A man received the following text from his neighbor.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

“I am so sorry, Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I’ve been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more…

The good news about erectile dysfunction is that it can be cured by diet and exercise.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bad news is trying to get your wife to diet and exercise. Joke Poo: The Stool Softener The good news about chronic constipation is that it can be cured by diet…

My wife caught me when I was masturbating.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Never doing that on a ladder again. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My dog caught me while I was practicing my ventriloquism. Never doing…

I bought my new wife a full set of cookery subscriptions for her birthday to help her learn to cook properly.

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A month later she bought me a porn movie for my birthday. Original Joke: I bought my new wife a full set of cookery subscriptions for her birthday to help her learn…

Bill wakes up with a monster hangover.

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

He cracks open one eye and sees a glass of water and two aspirins on the bedside table. His clothes? Clean and pressed. The house? Spotless. He heads to the kitchen –…

A loud pounding on the door awakened a man and his wife at 3 AM

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

The man got up and found a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. “Not a chance,” said the husband. “It’s 3:00 in the morning!” He slammed the…

car accident

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

While driving, I swerved to avoid a dog, lost control, and fell into a ditch. As I crawled out, all dirty and scratched, a beautiful woman stopped her car and asked, “Are…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?

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