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Category: Wife

My wife and I are a 9 to 5 couple.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

She’s a 9, I’m a 5 Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” inspired by your original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My dog and I are a “retrieve” team. He…

Two married marine biologists have a competition.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

They want to see which one of them can discover a new species first. After much searching, the wife finally manages to find a new species before her husband. She decides to…

A businessman calls up and asks the housekeeper if he can talk to his wife.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Señor, it breaks my heart to have to tell you this, but your wife is right now engaged in making passionate love with your best friend." "What?! They're doing what?! Listen, I…

My wife and I used to have a fantastic sex life.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Then we met. Original Joke: My wife and I used to have a fantastic sex life. Then we met. Joke Poo: My Credit Score My credit score and I used to have…

A farmer has been farting a lot.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He's been to several doctors, but none of them know what's wrong. Desperate, he reaches out to the local priest. He says, "Father, I don't believe in this religious mumbo jumbo, but…

A man & his wife are flying…

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man & his wife are flying in a 4-engine jumbo jet to vacation in the Bahamas. Soon after they depart the captain comes on the intercom and says "Good day ladies…

My son was just born, and another dad at the nursery, congratulated me, and said his daughter was born yesterday said maybe they’ll marry each other someday.

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Sure, only if my son is into marrying someone twice his age…yeah right! Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled… well, titled “Joke Poo.” Joke Poo My dog just…

Married couple

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

discussing erectile disfunction with a surgeon. "Well medication is not helping so we would have to operate. You have 3 options" "We can do reconstruction of your pubococcygeus muscle. Level 1 surgery…

For the first time, Viagra ads are now targeting women.

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

But the women aren’t too happy with Viagra’s new slogan, "Maybe It’s You." Joke Poo: Tampon Ads For the first time, Trojan is now targeting women with their new tampon ads. But…

I often tell my wife she looks like Charlize Theron in her Oscar winning performance.

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thank god she still hasn’t look that one up. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: I often tell my dog he reminds me of Lassie…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny

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