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Category: Wife

During a massive heatwave, an amusement park decided to have a “Beat the Heat” event

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

The organizers invited all of the local food trucks and restaurants to come and serve speciality cold drinks. So, on one particularly hot day, a dad takes his son to see what…

My biggest fear when I die is

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

My wife will sell my guitar collection, not for what each one is worth, but for what I told her I paid for each. Okay, here’s a new joke riffing on the…

My wife and I have decided we don’t want any kids…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

She's going to tell them tonight. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original: Joke Poo: The Announcement My boss and I have decided we’re eliminating casual Friday……

When I woke up this morning, my wife was cooking breakfast in nothing but a T-shirt…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

When she saw me, she said she needed me to have sex with her right now. I was surprised but happy to oblige. After I asked what that was all about. She…

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 19 y/o daughter.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the…

A couple who were big spenders had always dreamed

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

of a vacation in Hawaii but had never managed to save up enough money. Then one day they came up with an idea – each time they had sex, they would put…

Pug life

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

I bought the wife a pug last week, and despite the bulging eyes, flat face and rolls of fat, the dog seems to like her. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke…

An Irishman took a ferry to Glasgow…

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Upon disembarking, he was immediately met by a pretty Scottish lady. “She must have known me because she said “Hulloh Paddy. Would you like to sleep with me for 50 quid?”” He…

Three men die and appear at the Pearly Gates

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

St. Peter says that before they can enter, they must describe the circumstances of their death. The first man says, I'm not proud of this but I was an insanely jealous man….

Six retired Florida gentlemen were playing high stakes poker in a condo clubhouse.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

During an especially high-stakes game, a member of the group, Ron, lost $5,000 on a single hand, clutched his chest and dropped dead at the table from a heart attack. Showing respect…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”

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