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Category: Wife

My boss suspected his wife was cheating, so he told me to follow her and tape her for evidence. After my work was done, he asked how it went.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told him, “It was tough at the start, but once she ran out of breath, it was easier to tape her to the chair.” Joke Poo: The Taxidermist My boss suspected…

I was having lunch with a female colleague when I saw my wife come in.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

"It's my wife! I have to hide." I whispered. "Don't be silly, your wife can't possibly object to you having lunch with someone you work with" she said. "She can if she…

Friend said he wants to cheat on his wife, Kate, with some girl named Edith.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told him, "You can't have your Kate and Edith, too." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Internship Friend said he wants to intern at both Google and Microsoft…

A husband is walking behind his wife and says, “Your arse is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine.” The wife keeps quiet and carries on walking. Bedtime comes around, and the husband starts feeling amorous.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The wife says, "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!" Joke Poo: The Gardener’s Lament A gardener is admiring his…

My wife likes to twist my opportunities for fun into something else.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Earlier today my doctor said I can jerk off anytime I want. Later I'm telling my buddy about this and (of course) my wife has to interrupt. She says, "That's not what…

I got a motorcycle for my wife last week.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Best. Trade. Ever! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of your motorcycle joke: Joke Poo: I Got a New Robot Vacuum I got my dog a robot vacuum for his…

Irish Pick-up Line

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

An Irishman is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes. A woman sitting nearby notices this and…

Doctor’s Clinic Had Clever Sign (long)

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

After moving to the U.S., a Chinese doctor struggled to find work in a hospital. So, he opened a small clinic with a clever sign out front: “Treatment for $20 — If…

I think my wife is cheating on me.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

I give her my whole paycheck and she says " that's Bills" Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” riffing on your joke: Joke Poo: My Kid’s a Crypto Bro I think my kid’s…

Manchester city football club were scouting for new players…

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Manchester city football club were looking for new blood and decided to send scouts to the war torn country of Afghanistan to find their new star. After a couple of weeks they…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven

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