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Category: Wife

Why do Ronald McDonald and his wife not have kids?

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

He'd only Quarter Pounder Okay, here’s a new joke based on your provided joke, titled “Joke Poo,” keeping the same comedic structure and relying on a pun: Joke Poo: Why don’t the…

My wife just texted me saying “I wish you were here.”

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

As she's walking through a cemetery. Original Joke: My wife just texted me saying “I wish you were here.” As she’s walking through a cemetery. Joke Poo: My Dog My dog just…

My wife insisted she loved fishing when we started dating, now all she wants to do is play with her Nintendo

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

Talk about bait and switch Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your fishing joke: Joke Poo: My Dog Insisted My dog insisted he loved chasing squirrels when we…

For movie night I told my wife we could watch something… mature. She said sure. I asked if it was cool if it showed tits and cocks, and she sighed but said fine. I’m like, “Okay well what about tits, cocks, boobies, and a few peckers?” She rolled her eyes and yelled, “Just put it on already!!”

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

So anyway, she ended up hating the bird documentary. Joke Poo: The Geology Lecture For our anniversary, I told my husband I’d arranged a surprise… educational experience. He seemed excited. I asked…

A man came home and found his wife in bed with one of his best friends, so he dragged the man outside and beat the snot out of him.

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

When he got back his wife said, "Carry on like that and you won't have any friends left." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the joke, titled to reflect the… well,…

There’s a story about a man and a woman who have been married for 40 years.

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

One evening at dinner the woman turns to her husband and says, "You know, 40 years ago on our wedding day you told me that you loved me and you haven't said…

After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling.

Posted on August 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling. The wife poured out every complaint – neglect, loneliness, feeling unloved, you name it. Finally, the therapist (a man) got…

Deathbed joke for Cake Day

Posted on August 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's my 10th Cakeday, and I just saw an Olle and Lena joke that reminded me of one of my favorites: Olle was on his deathbed. The house was quiet, and he…

Man: Doctor, my wife is pregnant. That’s why I wanted to ask, how should we have sex now?

Posted on August 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doctor: Well, in the first months you can do it completely normally. In the second trimester, I recommend the doggy style, and in the last third, the wolf position. Man: Wolf position?…

The pet centipede

Posted on August 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy walks into a pet shop and says, “I’m looking for a really unique pet, something no one else has.” The shopkeeper grins and says, “I’ve got just the thing,” and…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…

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