A math professor noticed his kitchen sink at home was leaking. He called a plumber. The plumber came the next day, tightened a couple of nuts, and the sink worked perfectly again….
What did one racehorse say to the other after an 1/8 of a mile?
We won’t be here furlong. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Excremential Dread What did the constipated toilet say to the overflowing septic tank? “I’m feeling a real blockage…
It’s my cake day, so here’s a favorite…
I remember the first time I made love to my wife. After we finished, I asked her: "Am I the first one?" She sighed, looked at me and said: "Why does everyone…
Not to be rude but if you come to my funeral I won’t be coming to yours
My excuse is I'll be GROUNDED that day Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” riffing on the original, with a new twist and title: Joke Poo: My Online Account Not to be rude,…
Two friends are talking.
A guy asks his friend, "Man, why don't you divorce your wife? The whole neighborhood is sleeping with her, there's a line out the door!" The friend sighs, "And then what? Get…
I don’t get the point of strip clubs
If I wanted to spend an evening with a woman, give her a bunch of money, and then NOT have sex with her, I would just stay home with my wife. Joke…
An old man and his wife came in to see the doctor for their aches and pains. The doctor asked, “Are either of you allergic to analgesics?”
Confused, the old man looked at his wife, “Are we, dear? We only tried it once.” Joke Poo: The Tech Support Call An elderly woman called tech support, complaining her new tablet…
My Jewish friend told me that it’s their tradition, on someone’s birthday, to wish for them to live to 120.
"But what do you tell someone on their 120th birthday, then?", I asked. "Enjoy the rest of your day!", he answered. Original Joke: My Jewish friend told me that it’s their tradition,…
It is/was/will be my Cake Day, so here’s a favorite: A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?”
No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m." He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman…
What did the people scream when a giant snail attacked the city?
Walk for your lives! Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the snail joke: Joke Poo: What did the gardeners yell when a horde of sentient slugs infested the vegetable patch? “Lettuce…