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A farmer finds magic beans at the farmers market one day.

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

When he buys them, the seller informs him he must use fresh materials to grow them. He does so and lo, a magic bean stalk sprouts from his field! When he eats…

New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Minneapolis Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your prompt. Original Joke (re-stated for clarity): New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big…

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home.

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

The first says: “Fellas, I got real problems. I’m seventy years old. Every morning at seven o’clock, I get up and try to urinate. All day long, I try to urinate. They…

What did the clitoris say to the vulva?

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

“It’s all good in the hood!” Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: What did the Toilet Bowl say to the Septic…

I recently hit a really big milestone!

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

It severely messed up my alignment. Okay, here’s the original joke and then my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version: Original Joke: I recently hit a really big milestone! It severely messed…

If you Don’t Love your Job…

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Take a mortgage. You'll Start Loving it. Take Another mortgage, You'll Start Loving your Boss as well. Get Married and you'll Start Loving your Office Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke…

Common cents

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Walked into a Loves truck stop a little after Covid. They had a sign saying to use exact change due to the shortage of coins. I ask the lady at the counter,…

Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because he was stuffed! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” titled: Joke Poo: Why couldn’t the septic tank handle Thanksgiving dinner? Because it was too full of it! Okay, let’s…

My wife going deaf?

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

An elderly man goes to the doctor, very worried because he thinks his wife is going deaf, but he doesn't know how to bring it up without offending her. The doctor says,…

The battlefield quickly turns into an orgy.

Posted on November 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Cupid: sorry! These are the only arrows I have. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Title: The Potting Shed Debacle The community garden quickly became… fertilizer central. The Gardener: Sorry! These are…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A farmer finds magic beans at the farmers market one day.
  • New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where
  • Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home.
  • What did the clitoris say to the vulva?
  • I recently hit a really big milestone!
  • If you Don’t Love your Job…
  • Common cents
  • Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?
  • My wife going deaf?
  • The battlefield quickly turns into an orgy.
  • When he was a lad, James Corden said he’d be a famous comedian when he grew up, and everyone laughed at him.
  • A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.
  • Just had a holiday miracle!!!
  • Three perfect logicians walk into a bar….
  • What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky?
  • An old couple, both in their 80’s, go to a sex therapist’s office
  • Alberta Cow
  • By now, we all know to be careful what you wish for if you free a genie. My friend wasn’t and his wish for “a foot long that’ll please the ladies” was granted.
  • My friend told me Guru Nanak has millions of worshippers…
  • Most probably a rehashed joke, but a good one!
  • My buddy served in the army, and I just found out he killed three people. Which is so scary.
  • Captain’s Bathroom Riddle
  • Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”
  • My wife called to tell me she saw a fox this morning on the way to work.
  • [reception] “excuse me, I need your help. I forgot which room am I in”
  • I just found out my ex-wife is having a kidney transplant
  • So my buddy called me the other day…
  • My friend accused me of stealing his thesaurus…
  • As the ship started sinking, the captain addressed his crew:
  • A patient asks his doctor, “Doctor, is there sex after death?”
  • A woman in the washroom calls out to her husband
  • Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
  • A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, “Me and Janie is getting married.”
  • A math professor noticed his kitchen sink at home was leaking.
  • What did one racehorse say to the other after an 1/8 of a mile?
  • It’s my cake day, so here’s a favorite…
  • Not to be rude but if you come to my funeral I won’t be coming to yours
  • Two friends are talking.
  • I don’t get the point of strip clubs
  • An old man and his wife came in to see the doctor for their aches and pains. The doctor asked, “Are either of you allergic to analgesics?”
  • My Jewish friend told me that it’s their tradition, on someone’s birthday, to wish for them to live to 120.
  • It is/was/will be my Cake Day, so here’s a favorite: A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?”
  • What did the people scream when a giant snail attacked the city?
  • I thought my dentist was trying to rip me off when he said my teeth needed a scale…
  • When does December come before November?
  • Accidentally put my earbuds through the wash
  • Did you hear about the guy who has sex multiple times a day, can read as much as he wants, and still has time to work out?
  • A married woman is caught shoplifting a bag of apples.
  • I broke up with my ex, Lorraine. I’m so happy with my new love, Claire Lee.
  • A man is sitting on a park bench enjoying a nice summer day

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