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How many fruit flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two, but you do have to wonder how they got there in the first place. Joke Poo: How Many Bacteria Does it Take to Build a City? Trillions, but the real question…

So, a friend told me about a horror movie where if you get a phone call and don’t answer it, you die.

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

And I was like "Is this movie about my mother?" Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Email So, my colleague told me about a company policy where if you…

A young reporter went to a retirement home

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had….

A woman calls the cops about her neighbour.

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman calls the cops and says, "You have to get an officer over here right now. The man in the building across from me is walking around naked. It's indecent!" A…

My wife walks out of the shower, winks at me and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?”

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” based on your original, titled… well, you know. Joke Poo: The Diaper Dilemma My toddler finishes his…

Due to a recent surge in mining activities, the logistical network has been overwhelmed in my area.

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

I guess all those trucks were taken for granite. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your joke, titled: Joke Poo: The Software Update Due to a recent surge…

Which movie actor also knows how to code?

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Pedro PASCAL Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, playing off the original: Joke Poo: Which profession is surprisingly good at making fertilizer? Avocado Processors. Okay, let’s break down this joke: Analysis: Setup:…

Bridget Jones is to be celebrated with a new 200kg statue in London’s Leicester Square…

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

But it plans to lose at least ten of those by Christmas. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the Bridget Jones joke: Joke Poo: Optimus Prime’s Diet Optimus Prime is to…

The legend of Uncle Marvo (the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee)

Posted on November 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and Little Johnny and his mum go…

Just watching Alien vs Predator…

Posted on November 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

And as soon as the American news is finished I might pop on a movie . Okay, here’s the original joke you provided: Just watching Alien vs Predator… And as soon as…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • How many fruit flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • So, a friend told me about a horror movie where if you get a phone call and don’t answer it, you die.
  • A young reporter went to a retirement home
  • A woman calls the cops about her neighbour.
  • My wife walks out of the shower, winks at me and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?”
  • Due to a recent surge in mining activities, the logistical network has been overwhelmed in my area.
  • Which movie actor also knows how to code?
  • Bridget Jones is to be celebrated with a new 200kg statue in London’s Leicester Square…
  • The legend of Uncle Marvo (the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee)
  • Just watching Alien vs Predator…
  • Did you hear about the clown that caused a blackout?
  • Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs visit the Vatican for a blessing.
  • Nowadays pennies taste horrible. Back in the day they used to taste almost like toothpaste to me…
  • A radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, so it’s kinda weird that the town in the movie Cars is called “Radiator Springs”
  • How is Michael Jackson like Caviar?
  • I made a helpful suggestion about my wife’s donation bag
  • As a person with epilepsy what do i call an Ambulance?
  • I got complimented on my parking today
  • NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens.
  • A physicist is walking past a building…
  • A mistress is like a grenade.
  • Sorry Alliens
  • The Skinny Lumberjack
  • What’s the difference between a manly lesbian and a really short guy who works in the meat department?
  • I was thinking about having dinner at a family style restaurant by myself.
  • I made a helpful suggestion about my wife’s donation bag
  • A family goes on vacation to the beach in southern Mexico.
  • What’s a popular 60s pop duo with many Muslim?
  • A man adopts a stray dog.
  • An alcoholic read an article on the dangers of drinking alcohol and decided it was finally time to quit…
  • The wife is calling her husband at work.
  • Sue went to the cemetery every day to water the flowers on the grave of her late husband, Bob.
  • A guy’s wife comes into the room and says to her husband, “What the hell are you doing? I thought you were going to fix the sink!”
  • What do you call a photo of an old person?
  • Why are math books always so stressed?
  • Nobody came to my cocktail party
  • I just ran into a guy quoting V for Vendetta. You know, the whole “remember, remember the fifth of November,” speech. And I could help but think…
  • I just bought a 5 foot tall flightless bird for $3
  • Wife says that I’m cheap
  • I just got accused of mansplaining!
  • We were desperate to fix our son’s failing math grade.
  • A couple, both 78, went to see a therapist.
  • What did the vampires mother say when he told her he wanted to marry a werewolf?
  • Being an alcoholic is gambling with your life.
  • I failed the fire safety quiz at work earlier…
  • A truck carrying a penis for transplant swerved and fell into a hole
  • A dentist who lives down the street from me got busted for dealing drugs.
  • Cheney, about Mamdani:
  • At a poetry competition, there were two finalists!

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