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Wife says that I’m cheap

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

But I'm not buying it Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the joke, titled “Loan Shark Logic”: Title: Loan Shark Logic Man says his loan shark is generous….

I just got accused of mansplaining!

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

(For women reading this, that means "explaining things to women that I didn't need to explain to them") Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on your original: Joke Poo: Dogsplaining I just…

We were desperate to fix our son’s failing math grade.

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

My wife and I were at our wits' end with our son's failing math grades. We tried everything: talks, meetings with his public school teacher, rewards—nothing worked. As a final Hail Mary,…

A couple, both 78, went to see a therapist.

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “We’d like you to watch us… you know…make love… and tell us if we’re doing it right.” The doctor was…

What did the vampires mother say when he told her he wanted to marry a werewolf?

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Over my living dead body! Joke Poo: What did the toilet say to the plunger when he told him he wanted to marry a drain snake? Flush You! I’m not raising some…

Being an alcoholic is gambling with your life.

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

You liver die. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your joke: Joke Poo: Being a Procrastinator Being a procrastinator is investing in tomorrow… …to find out you’re already…

I failed the fire safety quiz at work earlier…

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

I was asked the question, "What steps would you take in an explosion?" Apparently the answer isn't, "Fucking big ones." Joke Poo: Performance Review Prank I failed the company’s new “Empathy and…

A truck carrying a penis for transplant swerved and fell into a hole

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Now all the kids call it the ding dong ditch Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of that joke, titled “Fertilizer Fiasco”: Fertilizer Fiasco A truck carrying a massive load of fertilizer,…

A dentist who lives down the street from me got busted for dealing drugs.

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Im in shock because I’ve been going to the guy for 12 years. Never, ever would I have guessed that he’s a dentist. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based…

Cheney, about Mamdani:

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Muslim mayor of NYC? Over my dead body! Okay, here’s my attempt, playing on the original’s political, confrontational, and slightly absurd tone: Joke Poo: Bezos, about Unions Bezos, about the possibility…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Wife says that I’m cheap
  • I just got accused of mansplaining!
  • We were desperate to fix our son’s failing math grade.
  • A couple, both 78, went to see a therapist.
  • What did the vampires mother say when he told her he wanted to marry a werewolf?
  • Being an alcoholic is gambling with your life.
  • I failed the fire safety quiz at work earlier…
  • A truck carrying a penis for transplant swerved and fell into a hole
  • A dentist who lives down the street from me got busted for dealing drugs.
  • Cheney, about Mamdani:
  • At a poetry competition, there were two finalists!
  • The Riverside High
  • Two nuns, Bridget and Theresa, were on their bikes heading back to the convent in Dublin one night.
  • Strange but true: When you see ducks flying south in a ‘V’ formation, why is one line always longer than the other?
  • What do you get if you cross a dyslexic with an agnostic who has insomnia?
  • The professor of medicine is teaching the students about dissection
  • Am I the first person you have ever slept with?
  • Describe your love life in two words.
  • Cop understood the assignment.
  • Doctor, help me. I’m addicted to buying yachts. Is there something you can give me for it?
  • Teacher and her 3 boy students:
  • The woman I’m sleeping with keeps telling me I don’t need to be intimidated by the size of her ex’s dick
  • As we drove past some black and white cows my dad said “wow, it must be really cold out there…
  • Last year I bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas…
  • I’m starting a research project into bestiality
  • I’m over 40 years old and I’ve never used essential oils…
  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage

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