One night, the 96-year-old fills up the bath, puts his foot in, and pauses. Then he yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94-year-old yells…
A man lost his hand in a war and goes to a shop to purchase a prosthetic hand.
He enters the shop and explains his situation, the storeman directs him to their selection and picks up the first prosthetic hand. "This is one of our highest quality prosthetic hands, will…
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He meets God, who turns out to be a jolly old chap, laughing and jesting constantly. They have a pleasant conversation, until the Jew tells a Holocaust joke. God gets a stern…
A woman wakes up in the middle of the night and realizes that her husband is not in bed.
She gets up and finds him in the kitchen. The man is staring blankly while drinking coffee, his mind far away. And there are tears running down his face. “What’s wrong, my…
Cop pulls over a little old lady and asks for her licence and registration.
When she pulls out her wallet, he sees a handgun in her purse. "Ma'am, is that a gun in your purse?" "Yes, Officer, it's a .38 Smith & Wesson revolver." "Please place…
Everything is understood through comparison.
A poor farmer came to the priest, complaining about how miserable his life was and how badly he was suffering. The priest asked him to allow a stray dog to live in…
This is an oldy
Mother Superior gathers her novitiates (nuns in training)… MS: I have heard stories of some novitiates speaking in private with the gardener. Novitiates: Mama mia! MS: I have seen novitiates entering the…
Best names for a roomba
I named mine Floorence the Machine Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the Roomba joke: Joke Poo: Best Names for a Smart Toilet I named mine John Wayne….
For years they’ve been saying “Think of the children”.
They sure changed their tune since the Epstein Files. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Think of the Alpacas For years, farmers have been saying “Think of the alpacas! They need shearing,…
You know you’re getting old when …
the noises you make getting off the couch sound exactly like the ones you used to make during sex. Joke Poo: Potty Training Edition Title: The Struggle is Real You know you’re…