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My son saw me slumped over our lawn mower, bawling my eyes out…

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

He screamed, "Dad! What's wrong!? Are you ok?!" I said, "Don't worry son, I'll be fine. I was just going through a rough patch…" Okay, here’s the Joke Poo version: Joke Poo:…

A man and his wife visited their doctor for a checkup.

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor wanted to examine the old man first. After examining him, the doctor said, "I'm surprised—you're in such excellent health!" The old man replied, "I attribute it to my good and…

There are 3 life stages to married sex:

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A young married couple has “kitchen sex” and basically goes at it all over the house any time of day or night. At middle age they have “bedroom sex” once a week…

A man at a funeral interrupts the priest and says, “Excuse me, do you have the WiFi password?”

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The priest stares at him and says, "Good God man, have some decency. This is your mother's funeral!" And the man says, "Is that all lower case?" Joke Poo: The Diaper Dilemma…

A 9-year-old and 6-year old brother are in their room one morning.

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The 9-year-old says to his younger brother, "You know what, I think's it's about time we start swearing!" He likes the idea, and his older brother says, "Okay, we'll go downstairs for…

Three NHL coaches are waiting outside the delivery unit as their wives are all in labour.

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

After many hours, a nurse comes out to see the first coach. "Your wife just finished giving birth! Both she and the baby are fine! A healthy baby boy!" the nurse said….

Why cant Amish people play baseball?…

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because they swing! And Amish! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the Amish baseball joke: Title: Joke Poo – Why Did the Scarecrow Get Fired from the Orchestra?…

Dungeons and Dragons Addicts Anonymous

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A bunch of guys are sitting in a circle. One man says "Hello everyone, welcome to Dungeons and Dragons Addicts Anonymous. Now, I can tell you're all in a dark place right…

If two meth addicts are going out…

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Does that count as speed dating? Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” riffing off the speed dating joke: Joke Poo: If two paleontologists are going out… Does that count as…

Have you heard that they stopped making pennies?

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Treasury said they just didn't make sense anymore. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” building off the original penny joke: Joke Poo: Have you heard they stopped training pigeons…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My son saw me slumped over our lawn mower, bawling my eyes out…
  • A man and his wife visited their doctor for a checkup.
  • There are 3 life stages to married sex:
  • A man at a funeral interrupts the priest and says, “Excuse me, do you have the WiFi password?”
  • A 9-year-old and 6-year old brother are in their room one morning.
  • Three NHL coaches are waiting outside the delivery unit as their wives are all in labour.
  • Why cant Amish people play baseball?…
  • Dungeons and Dragons Addicts Anonymous
  • If two meth addicts are going out…
  • Have you heard that they stopped making pennies?
  • Cheetos and Doritos are going dye free.
  • Con Man, Conned
  • Why is Santa’s sack so large?
  • What concert only costs 45 cents?
  • People often say that the last four letters in “queue” are silent
  • When I was stranded in the desert I saw three people having sexual intercourse off in the distance…
  • Johns not having it
  • A blonde is waiting table for a couple of guys, and one of them is telling a load of really obnoxious blonde jokes.
  • Problem with new bedroom wardrobe
  • A man goes to the registry court office.
  • I wrote a poem about the hayfever I get whenever I visit rural cemeteries.
  • My girlfriend is from a southern African tribe. When we met the language barrier was tough..
  • What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
  • I have decided to create a new political movement called apatheticism.
  • Peeing with an erection isn’t impossible
  • The UK government aims to reduce it’s huge driving test backlog by using military examiners for up to 6500 tests. It’s easy to pass with one of them, you just take the first left…
  • Another doctor joke
  • Funny funeral home story:
  • About 3 weeks ago, my 9 yo used the word “shit” at the dinner table, that he learned from the older boys. I told him that’s a grown up word, and he should say “shucks” instead
  • A couple is seeing a marriage counselor, but they’re having trouble opening up about their relationship problems.
  • Optimus Prime was on a date with an Autobot when she asked, “You don’t think my outfit is too tight, do you?”
  • Harold got real drunk one night, Ubered home, and snuck in bed beside his wife…
  • So the third grade teacher asks the class, “Can anyone give an example of a long compound sentence?”
  • A politician visits a remote Native American community.
  • I grew up with six brothers…..
  • You like to go abroad at Christmas
  • A courier in Alexander the Great’s court
  • I’m not Haydn the fact
  • Who do you call for Catholic emergencies?
  • Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?
  • Did you know that before the invention of the crow bar….
  • OK, jokes first heard in Primary School (YRS 3 to 6)
  • When I was 9, I learned that I could talk to animals.
  • A penguin’s car starts to feel a little weird when he’s driving it so he takes it to a mechanic…
  • A Solemn Question
  • What did the guy from the Village People say when he asked the guy from the Beastie Boys about his stage name?
  • A woman is applying for family benefits,
  • People are surprised that I went to a subsidiary school of MIT (Mechanical School of Fastening)
  • Damn girl! Are you a pinky toe?
  • What’s the French navy’s motto?

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