Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

Your vehicle is heading towards either a kid or an old man… what do you hit?

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

The brakes of course

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version:

Joke Poo: The Space Budget

Your spaceship is hurtling towards either a crucial life-support system or a funding request for a feasibility study on alien communication… what do you cut?

The ribbon! (at the life-support system’s grand re-opening after the feasibility study proved alien silence.)

Alright, let’s analyze this little gem.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Presents a classic ethical dilemma with a morbid twist – a forced choice between hitting a child or an elderly person. The setup preys on our moral conditioning, anticipating a response focused on minimizing harm.
  • Punchline: “The brakes, of course!” This is a subversion of expectations. Instead of engaging with the moral dilemma, it chooses a completely logical and safe option. The humor comes from the unexpected, sensible answer in a context designed to elicit an emotional/moral response.
  • Humor Type: Wordplay/Misdirection, Subversive Humor

Key Elements:

  • Vehicle: Cars/Driving, Ethical Dilemma
  • Victims: Children, Elderly People
  • Solution: Brakes/Safety

Comedic Enrichment & New Joke Ideas:

Let’s leverage some “did you knows” about driving safety and combine it with the original joke’s structure for a new laugh:

Did You Know? The average car contains over 30,000 parts, but the only one most people remember when faced with an impending collision is the brake pedal. Which makes sense, considering that panic-braking can reduce stopping distances by up to 40%!

New Joke Idea (Playing off the statistic):

Your self-driving car is heading towards a kid riding a scooter or an old man walking with a cane. What does it prioritize?

Hopefully, the algorithms prioritize avoiding a lawsuit. But you, in the driver’s seat, should prioritize the brakes… because even with all that fancy AI, your stopping distance will still be measured in feet, not good intentions.

Explanation of New Joke:

  • Builds on the original: Takes the same core dilemma and applies it to a more modern scenario: self-driving cars.
  • Incorporates Fact: Alludes to the complexity of self-driving car programming but brings it back down to earth with the blunt reality of braking distance.
  • Maintains Subversion: Again, avoids the emotional trap of choosing a victim, and focuses on the practical, albeit slightly cynical, solution. Adds a layer of dark humor by implicating the legal consequences.

Alternatively, here’s a meta-joke leveraging the joke structure:

Your sense of humor is presented with a tired old “kid or grandpa” dilemma joke. What does it do?

It hits the snooze button. There are funnier scenarios than that.

This one uses the same setup but subverts the expectations by commenting on the unoriginality of the original joke. The humor is in the self-awareness and poking fun at the cliche.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme